life motherhood

Waiting for Baby

I literally cannot believe I’m still pregnant. After our scary pre-term labor news at 20 weeks, I never in my wildest dreams imagined we’d make it this far!

This last phase is a total mix of emotions. I’m feeling baby girl all the time now, which is seriously the most magical thing in life. She responds to my and Dan’s voices, music, me moving around, etc. She’s a little human! It’s crazy.

But this last phase is also hard, because honestly? I’ve never been in more physical discomfort in my life. I’m not sleeping (like really not sleeping) thanks to peeing every two seconds + incredible arthritic pain in my joints (especially my hips) + insomnia (it’s real). I’m trying to walk around and be active to induce labor — something I CRAVED so badly from weeks 20 to 36 but couldn’t do — yet now I don’t even enjoy it because of said joint pain + intense swelling. My face is swollen, my feet look like they belong to a 400 pound woman and my hands hurt too badly to even finish up my remaining baby shower thank you notes. 

And to top it off, I’m officially out of pants. 

But this — right here — is really the first time I’ve publicly gone into detail about how hard this is. I feel so guilty talking or complaining about my discomfort because I don’t want it to mean I’m ungrateful for the little girl living inside of me. I feel bad for feeling as miserable as I do — so much so, that when all I want to do is cry about my constant pain and discomfort, I do everything I can to hold back the tears — even to my husband.

That’s why I really admire Whitney Port’s candid pregnancy video blog. I feel like not enough women talk about how hard this is without feeling bad about it. 

With that said, I’m trying my best to keep my spirits up. The good news is, baby girl naturally helps. Nothing puts me in a better mood than feeling her little body move around inside of me. I’m also so lucky because my husband has been an amazing support system — making me ice baths for my feet, rubbing my back in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, and reminding me to laugh it off when I can. 

The other thing that makes me happy these days is her nursery. Though it’s been done for awhile given we thought I’d go early, I now have time to think about adding little details, washing more of her clothes and even just enjoying spending time in there. Every morning I walk by her room, and it makes me smile. Because it reminds me that I’m so close, and that when she’s here, all of this will be worth it!

Crib: Pottery Barn. Elephant Basket: Pottery Barn. Prints: Etsy. Rug: Target. Chandelier: Home Depot.

Curtains: Land of Nod. Curtain Bar: Home Depot. Chair: Pottery Barn

Changing table: Rehabbed ourselves! Knobs: Home Depot. Topper: Land of Nod. Lamp: Land of Nod. Mirror: old school vintage rehab. (We’re so DIY!)

Shelf: Pottery Barn. And one of my favorite parts of the room: a hand-painted picture by my four-year-old niece for her new cousin!

Mamas who made it to 40 weeks or more — how did you cope with waiting for baby?

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